Am I going too far and too fast is a question often heard by younger people but is actually thought by people of all ages when deciding if they want to take their relationship to the next level and have sex.
There are tons of factors that play into our decision of whether or not we think we are going too fast.
Here are 5 of them:
1. You don’t want to look easy.
Who thought of this? Who decided that if you have sex with someone after the first date you are labelled easy for life by everyone that passes you by?
Unless this is something you do for any guy at any time then you are not easy and anyone who calls you that name is not someone that you need to care about anyway.
If you feel that you are giving it up without valid reasons then you may be going to fast for you. Thinking that you will look easy is just a reflection of how you may feel about yourself if you are not ready.
2. You don’t want them to get what they want and then leave you.
This is valid concern. The question of giving it up, even if it feels right, and then the person saying “Good, that’s what I wanted!”, and leaving you shortly after that.
If you feel like your partner is in it for more than just a game to get sex from you then you are probably right and have very little to worry about unless they are extremely good actors.
But if they are pressuring you to have sex or dropping tons of hints to get it on and you feel like once you do they will leave you then they probably will.
Trust your instinct on this one and do not give in unless you feel it’s going to develop into something more.
3. You feel your partner isn’t ready yet.
If you feel ready to take it to the next level but you know your partner isn’t then you have to respect that and wait until they are. If you push them too hard to have sex they will not enjoy it as much as they will when they are ready. It’s worth the wait.
4. Your partner is pressuring you to do it.
This is one of those times that you should choose to wait. You should not be having sex for the sake of making someone else feel better because they get to. If they can’t wait till you are ready then they really are not worth having sex with anyway.
5. You want to wait until you’ve both been tested for STDs before having sex.
Good idea! This is something that everyone should do before being intimate with someone and it can take a few weeks to get it all said and done, but it is worth the end result of knowing that you are not at risk for a STD when you are with your partner.
Bellaisa is an advocate for happy and stable relationships with yourself and with others and she has put together a site that has tips, articles, and resources for every stage of relationships called The Relationship Circle.
Whether you are single, taken, or married there is advice for you at http://relationship-circle.com
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